Friday, September 30, 2011

My Life: Be Jealous.

I'm alive! It's the truth. Though just barely (no not really, I'm fine). Since having Caroline my life has not been the picture of health that I wish it to be. I wound up in the emergency room a while ago with bad chest pains. It wasn't great. They immediately ruled out any sort of heart problems rather quickly, which was good. But it took the doctors another 10 or so hours + a switch in hospitals + x-rays + blood tests + a cat scan to rule out a blood clot in my lung. That was terrifying. Every person I saw kept reminding me that it "could be fatal." Thanks Hospital staff! Like this stabbing pain in my chest just isn't terrifying enough. They were great though.

We took Caroline to the hospital with us since she refuses to take any sort of bottle. And that was all I could think about the entire time: Caroline won't take a bottle! What is Greg going to do?! Greg, promise me that if I die you'll make your mom retire and watch the kids! I will not have my children raised in daycare! I used to work in daycare! Some of those people are monsters! was a fun day for Greg too.

So what DID I end up having? PLEURISY! And no, not the lung-filled-with-blood-and-fluid kind, just your simple inflamed lung kind. Thats me. Keeping up the tradition of contracting old people diseases while still in my twenties. I normally enjoy great health with random bouts of afflictions normally reserved for the 50 and up set. I'm looking at you Shingles.

So what else have I been doing lately besides not blogging and resting my old lady lungs? Well...

-Making myself an accidental super glue glove while attempting to glue part of a kitchen drawer back together. Seriously my hand was covered in super glue. I'd be lying if I said it didn't have it's benefits.

-Playing hangman. Jonas's favorite new game. Meanwhile trying to stave off his incessant questioning about why the game ends in a person hanging. " just means you lost. Pick another letter."

- Planning ways to keep Jonas entertained (see above). Two years before this kid can start kindergarten and he can read, do simple math, and recognize each individual state by shape alone. A few weeks ago I awoke to him teaching himself how to read the names of the states by cross-referencing a US placemat and a 50 Great States book from the dollar section at target. He's pretty much a genius. I am learning so much from him! Did you know that Delaware was the first state? (You did? Well I didn't! Thanks a lot Highlands Elementary School.) I told Greg I plan on getting Jonas a bunch of anatomy books from the library. We could have a little Doogie Howser on our hands people! A LITTLE DOOGIE HOWSER! I think we can all agree that this is very exciting and likely. (sarcasm).

- Feeding the She-Hulk...though perhaps string bean is a better nickname since she's not so much husky as she is long. FYI: Yankee Doodle is her actual nickname. Anyway...she literally eats every hour on the hour some days (and nights). Meanwhile women I associate with talk about stretching their babies eating schedules to three hours and four hours. I'm against schedules for wee babies. They're hungry! Let them eat! ...This may be why I consistently produce chunky babies.

-House shopping! We're still in the super fun stage of finalizing our loan and looking at cute houses. So I'm pretty excited. Though I've had to give up on the dream home to beat all dream homes so everything else will inevitably come in a sad, sad second best. It was beautiful. On 16 acres. COMPLETELY off the grid. We could get a cow! It had a creek running through it. A CREEK! Sadly the creek was part of the downfall. The house was down a long dirt road...the creek ran through part of the road...if it rained the Mr wouldn't be able to get to work...sadness now consumes my every waking moment. Not really. We're house shopping! And the house that is right for us is bound to come our way. I can feel it! Meanwhile I will dream of retiring to the dream home to beat all dream homes. A CREEK!

I realized yesterday that it's been a year since we started trying for a baby. How quickly time flies. Man alive did that pregnancy do a number on me! Every day I feel a little bit more like my old self. Jonas and I have started planting the winter garden. We make all of our bread again. Some of the wash gets hung on the line to dry (mind you not all, I have a three month old you know!). We've started using cloth wipes in addition to cloth diapers. So easy! Why didn't I do this with Jonas? We're back to green smoothies for breakfast. We walk places. We do pilates. I've discovered the many virtues of Bon-ami cleanser. So yeah. Life is getting back to normal and it feels amazing! Congratulations on making it to the end of this super-post.